it was backed up...
i could feel it building but couldn't release it.
and then it just exploded.
and when shit hits the fan,
you can't ignore it.
because it's there.
and it stinks.
not a pretty picture im painting.
and it wasn't.
so gina is still having bouts of headaches, remains disinterested in the remainder of our trip, and is homesick.
and i'm trying to keep it together, bite my tongue, and try my best to enjoy our trip.
like here at lunch in old madrid:
wild asparagus
and chicken in garlic with potatoes (yuuuuum!!!) & trout with ham and garlic (yuuuuuuck!!!!)
or here at the jeronimos church behind the el prado museum:
but at parque del retiro, it all came crumbling down.
down by the entrance of the parque before shit went down
and even here, things are ok
but soon after...
it got to the point where i was in tears saying, "i want to give up. i want to give up..."
and gina wants to go home early.
we go our separate ways: gina heads back to the hostal. i stay by the pond staring down at a duck sitting in front of me telepathically communicating to it to console me. true story.
on the walk back to the hostal, i start to get nervous about whether she made it back ok or not...apparently i wasn't that nervous because i stopped in a couple of clothing stores to check out their sales. needless to say, they were difficult to enjoy and i walked out empty-handed both times.
as soon as i walked into the hostal, i confirmed with the receptionist that mi hermana was in the room.
gina and i were both a lot calmer.
the time apart gave us the chance to clean up our shit.
clear the air.
this SO had to happen.
and once it did,
we had a really nice time together,
which we haven't really had since the last couple of days in barcelona.
ok the pics are shitty quality but this moroccan restaurant was really tasty!
cucumber yogurt and falafels
shit hits the fan once in awhile.
how we choose to deal with the aftermath is what counts, i feel.
the line that gets me every time is,
"do you want to be right. or do you want to be happy."
it helps me to sort out my thoughts a little more clearly.
especially since i have a tendency to want to be right.
this practice kills my ego - leaves me feeling butt-naked vulnerable.
but in exchange for a lighter heart and a more open mind.
once the mess was dealt with,
our dynamic flowed with more ease.
our evening ended with a pleasant stroll through the chueca neighborhood.
shit emptied, bellies full.
palacio de cibeles. this whole area was stunning...
this experience made me think about how
we resist or try so hard to get rid of difficult/uncomfortable/hurtful situations
and
we indulge or try so hard to retain pleasant/comfortable/painless situations.
naturally so.
duh.
however,
words of the wise are all the same:
just be. let it flow. without resisting or indulging. and trust the process.
si?
si.
off to bed ahora para mi.
for the record: im grateful for ALL the experiences that ive had with my sister
[although some are difficult to admit...heh.]
besos
xx
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